O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
