She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
