Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
