i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize