my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i was born a porn star she said
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
