i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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