So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
