don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
