Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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