i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
