im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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