I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
