No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
