is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
