I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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