I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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