i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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