I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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