Sry I called you an 8
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
