New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
