Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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