He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
