your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
