Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
