Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
