What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
