oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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