I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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