I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
