somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
