What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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