Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."

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(714): View more from California

turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker

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(323): View more from California

it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.

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(661): View more from California

Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.

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(310): View more from California

If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.

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