im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
