You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
