You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
be right there i have to get my cape
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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