i think i have herpe
just one?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
