I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
