At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
