I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
