this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
