I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
