Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
God I need to hump something, right now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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