I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
