you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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