when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
