we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
