ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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