how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
