I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
