Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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