I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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