I'm really into asian looking animals
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
