Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
