We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
