Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize