We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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