Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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