Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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