Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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