We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
