Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
