Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
